Domestic Life,.......

Hello everybody,

In this blog I thought I would concentrate on domestic life; that is to say our domestic life , and what goes on in our locality. It'll be my last blog for a few weeks as we are coming back to the UK for a well earned break.

Before I get to domestic life though, I'll just share some great news for me. As most of you know, I am an avid Brighton and Hove Albion supporter. When we came out here I subscribed to the club website (so that I can listen to match commentaries on the internet) and also a Brighton fans' message forum called North Stand Chat. So anyway there I was at work the other day, around lunchtime on North Stand Chat , when I noticed a posting from a member whose location was......wait for it......Hanoi. So I sent him a private message and the upshot is that we'll hold the inaugural meeting of the Brighton and Hove Albion Supporters Club Hanoi Branch in July (actually it'll just be several beers, but I'm not sure whether to wear my club shirt).

Anyway; we live up an alley (entrance pictured below), in a huge house (see below), with a beautiful swimming pool (also below) on the ground floor. Lounge and kitchen diner on the first floor, 2 floors of bedrooms, all with huge en-suites and walk in wardrobe areas, a fifth floor with a laundry room, a 'something' room (it's just a room with no purpose which we use to store stuff), and a magnificent lounge. And up again out onto the roof terrace with 360 degree views , 3/4 of which is Westlake, as our area is a kind of a peninsula into the lake. The lift is in the centre of the house, which is also where the wooden staircase is housed.

One aspect of houses here that needs understanding is the intensity of the heat that houses generate. We can air condition individual rooms , but the central stairwell starts off cool at the bottom , but by the time you reach the 5th floor it's simply roasting.And the issue we have is the 5th floor lounge which is the best room in the house , as it has views across Westlake , but no airconditioning ( and the landlord will not install it into this room). Our advice to him is that this will cause him problems in the future when he trying to rent to westerners,unless he markets the room as a sauna with magnificent views, but he is having none of it. So we managed to find a portable aircon unit , which vents out of a window ( not ideal , but it suffices). So with that purchase Karen decided to make this room her office . We set the room up as a stunning office, and then arranged for the 'computer man' we know to re-arrange the wireless routers in the house , to get the internet into the room. But no matter how he tried, the room is a complete internet blackspot. So Karen has converted a bedroom to an office , and we'll abandon the best room in the house for the rest of the summer.

Last week all our furniture arrived.....125 packing cases. For the last few weeks we have been really nervous about the 'lobby fee' we would have to pay to get it through customs. Estimates from reliable sources varied from $50 USD to $1500 USD, so really we had no idea. But the day it arrived in the docks we had an interesting email from our shipping company. The email had an attatchment which was a message from a Customs official which read as follows ' Re case 41 labelled 'Samsung 32' FlatScreen TV' we opened this case and there is nothing in it'. Oh well we thought that's life. But Karen wrote quite a straightforward email suggesting that as we have lost a prized possession, that presumably our 'lobby fee' will be quite small. Then when the furniture arrived two days later, there was our TV. You tell me what was going on as I've no clue.

We have a cook/housekeeper. We share her with a couple who work for the British Council , and her name is Chi. Actually her name is Phuc, but for some reason she asked us to call her Chi (I can't think why). She is wonderful and what a pleasure it is to have someone iron my shirts! Her cooking is amazing and she cooks for us 2 or 3 times a week. So to have real home cooked Vietnamese food is such a privilege (actually I am so lucky because Karen is a fabulous cook too). But Chi's cooking doesn't end with us. Oh no.....she cooks for Sally the dog as well: something different every day. When Sally goes to the kennels during our holiday she is going to be wondering if Chi has made her a couple of weeks worth of packed lunches. Pictured here is something Chi bought to turn into one of Sally's dinners. I'm sure these were very cheap , and I'll just let you look at the picture and say no more.

One of the incredible things here is that the poor and the rich seem to live 'side by side' perfectly happily. We have no back garden , and below (left) is a photo of our neighbouring house at the back. And just around the corner on a patch of scrub is a house (below right) inhabited by a family Karen calls 'the Borrowers'. It's a shack constructed from cast offs. But directly opposite the entrance to our alley is a small palace, which must be inhabited by a Government official or politician because the police arrive and close the road whenever a car arrives at or leaves the house. And if two local men stand side by side, most of the time you couldn't tell who lives in the mansion and who lives in the makeshift shack.

Rubbish collection is interesting. You just leave it outside your front door and at 5 o'clock a lady on a bicycle comes and takes it away. (The only element of reclycling I have seen are the ladies that pick up cardboard and strap it to the back of their bikes.) And all this rubbish seems to work its' way back to the local mobile rubbish carts, which are administered by the ladies who sweep the streets (all day) with their long handled palm leaf brushes. Karen took a beautiful photo of a number of  full rubbish carts at twilight by the lake.What we have established is that reclycling is a well honed cottage industry which takes place on a street by street basis by people who scrape a living by collecting and (I guess) selling on different types of rubbish.But there is no information at a residential level about recycling, and when I've mentioned it at work, I've just had a series of blank looks or vague smiles.  (I am very used to this look.....I had it yesterday when I mentioned at work that we are seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert in the UK. I then made the huge mistake of saying 'surely you've heard of the song ''Born in the USA''.....not the most sensible song to mention in Vietnam.)

My final photo below (which I include for no particularly good reason) is the biggest snail I have ever seen......and they are all this big here. And when you step on one by accident, it's a mixture of a crunch and a squelch.

In my next blog I'm going to tell you about retail. It's fascinating for so many reasons.......

Cheerio everybody.

I am an accountant after all....

Hello everybody,
We read a good quote about Ha Noi the other day. 'Ha Noi is a big enough city to attract interesting people , and a small enough city to get to meet them all'

Well you all know that I am an accountant but I haven't yet bombarded you with any numbers . Accountants just love numbers. It's a bit of a 'soap box' theme of mine that accountants measure far too many things with numbers, and should maybe step back sometimes to consider some  apparently less definitive units of measurement. I will quickly step off the 'soap box' though and give you some numbers according to the Word Ha Noi magazine April 2012:


              75% of Vietnamese earn between 1750 to 5000 GBP per annum (sorry I can't find the sterling sign on my Vietnamese computer)

               2% of Vietnamese earn over 10,000 GBP

               The market share of 'known' global banks like HSBC/ANZ in Vietnam is 3%

               32% of adults in Hanoi have an ATM card

                 1% of adults in Hanoi have a credit card

                 Inflation in Vietnam was over 20% last year  and is hoped to be 10-13% this year

                 The interest rate is 12%

Recently I went to a talk  where one of the guest speakers was a banker in Vietnam. He said that the banks in Vietnam are looking forward to taking consumers on their 'customer journey'. I took this to mean the development of retail lending via credit cards. So I plucked up some courage and asked a question. This is always a hairy moment, when you get passed the microphone and you ask your question, hoping that it isn't stupid and you surreptitiously look for raised eyebrows or sniggers in the audience. I said ' Is it possible that the Government here will help the banks to learn any lessons from such places as UK/USA in respect to the social distress that uncontrolled lending to people who cannot afford to borrow creates?'

I was told afterwards that my question was 'Question of the Day'. So my 'back of an envelope' calcuation is as follows.....low salaries plus high inflation plus high interest rates plus aggressive lending plus an aspirational society equals.......the need to be very careful..

To a different subject. We live in a beautiful place. Very close to Westlake, one of the main lakes around which Hanoi is based. Every morning and evening I take Sally, the dog, for her stroll along the side of the lake. At 6.30a.m. there are cyclists, runners, people exercising and loads of rowing teams ( like Oxford v Cambridge) on the lake. In the evening it's a different place. There is a grass area maybe 300 yards long and 30 yards wide between the pavement and the lake, and it is here that couples arrive on their scooters in droves after dark. It's a hugely romantic place in the evening. They come to make their plans for the future whilst gazing at the ripples in the water, under the moonlight, with the neon lights on the other side of the lake and the cooling breeze. But there are some couples who don't come for the view or to make plans. They come for slightly more physical pursuits. So to the ripples in the water, the  moonlight, the neon lights , the cooling breeze, you can add ' the occasional gently rocking scooter'.

I do struggle with the names here. I try very hard to ask what my colleagues names are then to remember them. Some are very hard to pronounce (some begin with an 'ng' for instance). One girl who sits close to me told me her name but advised that I should call her 'chewpee'. This being easy to pronounce was seized upon by me and everything went well.. Now for an auditor I am sometimes not very observant. But I noticed the other day that some people have written their names on the back of their chairs. And what did I see on the back of this girl's chair?........'chubby'. I am awaiting a visit from HR.

So to some photos..........

1 We live in an absurdly large house which I will share more about in due course. We have a lift. It was very funny the other day (to me anyway) when the lift arrived at the same floor as the dog, the doors opened and the dog just got in ........there is a real party trick here I'm sure.

2 My Work Permit.....some interesting stories about getting this.....

3 Karen had a couple of traditional dresses made, and here is one with the lady who made it. She also made me a linen suit. This photo highlights my lack of skill as a photographer (why did I think it was necessary to include a pillar in the photo?)

Cheerio everyone

HOT HANOI

Hello everyone,

I've been looking forward to writing this as I do like it. I really only discovered that I enjoy writing when I started doing Financial Due Diligence in my mid 30's. I like the journey; the rhythm  and pace of the words, and the choices that you have at every sentence.I also like the fact that sometimes everything flows really well which makes you feel good, and other times it's a struggle. Just like golf or tennis or any pastime that involves learned skills I guess.

So it's really warming up here , and will stay hot 'till the end of August I'm told. This last week the minimum has been about 33 degrees, and on a couple of days it was 40 . But its the humidity that gets you (and we are advised that this will get worse). I've had a linen suit made, but really wish I could wear shorts to work.

Back to the transport here. The cost of cars is staggering. I read an article examining this and it used a Hyundai Santa Fe as an example. In the US it costs about 25k USD. Here it's about 70k USD and the difference is all tax (lots of different taxes actually). I know we are living in a fairly affluent part of Hanoi , but there are so many really expensive cars around.. I'm talking Bentleys, Rolls, Audi Q7, big Mercs etc. etc. And they all have blacked out windows. The model with a higher market penetration here than in the UK  is the Porsche Cayenne, which personally I just can't fathom as aesthetically it has no charm at all (in my humble accountant's view).

So to a contradiction. On a day to day level we have found the standard of personal honesty and integrity really high. I have overpaid by accident several times (so many noughts on the notes is really confusing), and the money has just been given straight back. But on a formal level, the amount of 'facilitation' payments that have to be made  beggars belief. And it's quite normal. At a workshop I went to there was a powerpoint slide of all the Ports in Vietnam, with columns for the average number of days to get goods in and out of the port. And the final column was the percentage of companies using those ports who respond in the affirmative that they make facilitation payments to expedite the processing of consignments. And guess what? The lower the number of companies who will make payments, the higher the number of days to process the goods. And getting my work permit was an education which I will keep to myself.

It's a society at 2 economic levels; the western and the local. Here's a small example. 3 of the audit managers took Karen and I out the other night. We went to an Australian bar (as I had bet them that they couldn't drink a pint of Guinness......I know that sounds stupid but it was good idea at the time), and then they took us to a local bar/cafe. In the Australian bar one beer cost the same as 5 beers in the local bar. And if you made me do a blind tasting of Heineken against Hanoi Beer, it would be a matter of luck if I knew which was which.. So I'm happy to stick with the local beer every day of the week.

Finally to a food story. In our first week here we were in a supermarket and bought a packet of pork spring rolls. We were slightly disturbed when we got the shopping home and saw that one of the ingredients was 'Cats Ears'. Well we thought , 'when in Rome etc etc', cooked them and they were great. We didn't buy them again though. Anyway we have just learned that Cats Ears are in fact mushrooms, which look just like.......Cats Ears.

So to the photos;

1) We are thinking of getting our house remodelled like this one just over the road............

2 )This is our bamboo sofa being delivered.....DFS could save on petrol costs if they used this method......

3) Friday night in the local bar.....the yellow stuff is deep fried sweetcorn.....delicious

Cheers everyone

Hello everyone,

When I signed off my first newsletter about 3 weeks ago , I promised that I would talk about the traffic in Hanoi in my next edition. But before I get to that, I'd better point out that I've done exactly what most accountants do when they are planning something; I've made a list. The list covers all the aspects of life here that I think are worth sharing. It grows every day , and I keep having to give myself reminders to add something everytime I think of a new topic. I've only been here 6 weeks and there are already about 30 topics on my list. Some are big issues, others are amusing trifles (at least to me), whilst some are just questions.
So to the traffic. There are actually several aspects to this so I'll re-visit the theme in future blogs. But first I have to cover the volume of traffic, how you cross the road , and why you don't see hundreds of accidents. In a city of 6-8 million people , there are apparently 3 million scooters/small motorbikes. There are a huge number of taxis, comparitevly few cars , no trains, no trams, a good smattering of bicycles, and some buses ( I have seen far more of these parked up at the Bus Station than carrying customers). My guess is that the city is 10 miles across.

Unless you travel in the dead of night , you will face either permanent or patchy chaos. That is the only word for it. So, to drive a car or ride a scooter you do the following;

--Honk your horn all the time; not aggressively, but just to say 'I am here/I am coming'

--Use every available square foot of space in front of you or next to you. Don't worry about whether there is an exit from the space you are going into; just get into it.

-- Don't worry if you are on the wrong side of the road. Those white lines are just suggestions.

-- Go around obstacles (people, parked cars, other vehicles etc) using the shortest route. The convention here is 'The Shortest Route'.

-- Expect the unexpected; at all times. Do not daydream, look at shop windows, admire the buildings, rubberneck, or look at the streetstalls. Concentrate and use that '6th sense'.

The skill levels displayed here just in terms of awareness of things around you is a sight to behold. So are either Karen or I going to drive a car ? (In terms of cost this is a non starter anyway which I will revisit). No way! What about a scooter? Well very possibly yes; we will hire one for a month to see how we get on. But it will be local journeys only. I will not be joining the revving snake of scooters going to work, which every now and then just leaves the road for a pavement or park just because there is a 'Shorter Route' beckoning.

So it is fascinating just to watch how the traffic keeps moving forward. Because the traffic relies on itself , rather than signs/rules/traffic lights/conventions, it seems to me that it constantly sorts out all of its' problems as they happen. I think I have seen some Press in the UK about a town that has removed all of it's road signs. Well I reckon that they might be onto something..........

Crossing the road then? If you wait for a gap in the traffic, you'll be there a mighty long time. So you just walk out into the road ( making sure that you are not going to be struck down by the nearest vehicle), then you walk at a consistent pace, keeping your wits about you, and what happens is that they just drive/ride around you. The first time is pretty scary , then you just realise how to do it. And drivers/riders follow pretty much the same rule when joining the traffic; they just do it and seamlessly merge into the flow.

That's enough about the traffic, but I will revisit some other related themes in newsletters to come. So to finish, something a little less important. We are just about to move out of our serviced apartment, into a house. The apartment block has a small lake in front of it , with the access roads running either side. And on another side there is the terrace area of a posh restaurant. Fairly early on, in the evening and at night , we were mesmerised by a constant echoey noise which seemed to bounce around all sides of the lake. We thought it was a sophisticated electrical noise system, maybe to keep birds away from the lake or something like that. Anyway, we asked one of the security staff the other night what it is. It's the toads mating in the lake. So now we know.

Some photos are attatched. These are;

- The only thing I've seen that appears to be a reminder of the war here . And it's in a really posh area.

- Walking down the road with the scooters near the office.

- Shall I buy one of these peacocks which are on sale round the corner from my office?

Next time I'll look at the cost of cars and a complete contradiction .

Cheers all

Kevin

3 weeks in.......

Greetings from Hanoi

Hello everyone,

Well we arrived into Hanoi very early on Saturday 3^rd March; grey and raining and so feeling very much like Manchester , but there any similarity with the North West of England ended.

Our first day and night was spent at the Sofitel  Metropole Hotel which we had read to be one of the top hotels in SE Asia. So it was a bit of a treat after a long flight. And what a beautiful hotel it is.  The  recurring thought though is that every single member of staff is an ambassador for the hotel; polite, friendly ,bright  but never unctuous. The hotel is expensive but not offputting. A good experience.

Another learning experience or realization for me has been about Branding. As with anywhere in the world we say ‘Manchester’ and someone says ‘Manchester United’. But I then say ‘ah but I support Brighton and Hove Albion; they play in the Championship’ , and the person says ‘ oh you mean the Coca Cola Championship’.  And one person said ‘ I support the Emirates’. Didn’t mention Arsenal. I guess  that’s the power of Branding.

You wouldn’t  guess that this is a Socialist country. Yes I go past the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum and a statue of Lenin on my way to work, but the spirit of enterprise here , at least on the surface, overrides  everything.. There are a lot of well off people here, I’m sure that as a percentage of the total population it’s a tiny proportion , but here in Hanoi it’s a clearly visible element. And if the Government make tax revenues from this , then that must help the country.

There are controls here; both State and Local, and I fell foul of one early on. The office have arranged a Taxi  Account for me and as I speak no proper Vietnamese yet , the receptionist here telephones the taxi firm to pick me up from the office to take me home. And you can imagine what rush hour is like here, particularly where the Mazars office is ( in the middle of what I would call the Vietnamese business area). Anyway, on my second day I thought ‘I don’t need for them to call me a taxi, I’ll just walk out of the office and hail one, as there are always loads around’. So 45 minutes later, completely lost, not able to use the phone because of the noise and even if I could use the phone it would be pointless as I had no idea where I was. So the ‘Control’ is that the Taxi firms have been told that they are not allowed to be in specific areas at certain times of the day. And that’s why I couldn’t find a taxi. Karen was just about to call the British Embassy (joke) , when I eventually stumbled into the apartment.

Househunting is  both interesting and tiring. Finding an agent is no problem and they are as keen as mustard to help. If a westerner wants to live in the area most westerners live, then it seems that the privilege has to be paid for ( unless you are well connected I guess). The houses are on the big side of huge and usually at the expense of any garden. So with our dog needing a bit of outside space to mooch around, we don’t want a 5 bedroom/5 bathroom  viila which basically opens out right onto the street ( there are lots of these).

The office staff  are absolutely lovely and have helped me so much. To reciprocate I am regularly being asked for advice on writing little bits of English better, which is a pleasure. The language is going to be a challenge; I knew this already. To illustrate this point , we live on Xuan Dieu Street and this is pronounced ‘soon zioww’ ( the soon is a bit like  a northerner in the UK would say ‘sun’ and the ‘zioww’ rhymes with  the noise a cat makes).

I’ve attatched 3 photos; the office, my son Joe pushing our dog through customs in her crate, and 3 audit managers (Anh, Minh, and Son Ha  and Joe) out last Friday after work which proved to be a late one.

Until next time, when I will definitely be discussing the traffic and how it works…..